As stated above, it’s obvious that Chosen One decided to forgo any semblance of a good game in favor of trying to show off just how good it could make NBA stars look. Unfortunately, it fails at that too. While the players all have wonderfully modeled faces, all of them seem to be placed on one of three body types, and everything about them just seems rigid. Even their clothes, which are supposed to evoke from you feelings of awe and envy, are just flat, untextured rags of various colors, and shapes.

Animations suffer almost as badly, with every character sharing the same repertoire of moves, none of which look that great. In addition, every time a supermove is activated, you’re forced to sit through a 7-12 second long unskippable cutscene that plays out the same way ever single time. It completely interrupts the flow of the game, and there’s really no reason for it rather than to let the developers show off more bad animations. Topping it all off is a crowd of about 20 people all based on the same 4 repeatedly duplicated character models, identical right down to their clothes and movements. If you’ve ever wondered what pure laziness looks like, then look no further than the sidelines (or court for that matter) of Chosen One.

The one and only area of the game that is even remotely respectable is the sound and voice acting. Public Enemy’s Chuck D. provides the commentary, and he also introduces each chapter of Story Mode from a slick TV studio. Unlike most celebrities turned announcers, Chuck doesn’t mail it in, and actually does a respectable job both on and off the court. If he doesn’t already have a studio sports show, he could very easily have one today and hit the ground running.

Just Blaze does a respectable job with the game’s soundtrack, providing some solid hip-hop beats to back up the action. While those who aren’t into the genre likely won’t truly appreciate the work, it’s nice to have something different from the standard stable of pop-rock and gansta rap that seems to pervade basically every other sports title out there. It may not be the most inspired music you’ve ever heard, but it’s better than another EA Trax sampling.

Perhaps the biggest sin committed by Chosen One is the fact that it buys into its own hype. The title is so oversold on its own importance, that it seems Midway truly believes it doesn’t need to provide a solid basketball experience, but can rather coast through relying on the star power of the NBA license. However, no matter how much makeup you put on a pig, you can’t hide the truth. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to pick this game up as a rental, a purchase, or a gift (unless it’s a gift for your greatest enemy), particularly with so many better games out there. Do yourself a favor and just stay away.